The Dead Sea Scroll of Wayne's World, this crumbling relic represents the earliest phone list (1974) known to have survived from the BL (Before Leatrice) era. The guilty:

1. Biff -- Biff Mahoney, printer, later to meteorically rise to General Manager
2. Kitchen -- site of morning muffin making by our Hero
3. Dot -- Dotty Gibson, now of Katy TX, office manager, circulation manager, receptionist, mother hen
4. Reception -- at Bleak House, Pine St. (now "The Pines")
5. Bill -- Bill Edwards, Falstaffian ad sales manager and mauvais vivant
6. Katherine -- advertising assistant, name known, but heck, she's led a reputable life since then
7. Jack -- Jack Burnett, cub editor on his way to being 73 Magazine publisher 11 years later
8. Lynn -- Lynn Panciera-Fraser, fearless art director and corporate gardener
9. Wayne
10. David -- David Behnke, marketing manager, opera singer, future investment banker
11. Alex -- Alex Barvicks, stunned book editor overwhelmed either by workload of one book per month or by being across the hall from Knud
12. Rod -- Rod Tulonen, also third floor, complete staff of only WG publication ever killed on the very day the first film was to go to press: Cassette Quarterly
13. Knud -- Knud Keller, Caribbean piano bar player, piano tuner and rebuilder sans pareil, bookkeeper, he could -- and still can (Surry NH) -- do it all
14. "Unlisted Number" -- Bill Heydolph, photographer, basement -- why would he need a phone?
15. "Unlisted Number" -- Virginia Londoner, WG's live-in ex-wife, general manager